Mmm...whilst eating a traditional Christmas Eve dinner, I realized that Quality matters very important in my life. I cannot stand to be eating processed or sub par food very often (except of course for a Big Bacon Classic). The Thorp family dinner is a appetizer affair: handmade crab cakes with a red pepper aiole, tapanade on french bread, fresh veggies, and wine! Delicious. I think fresh ingredients and knowledgable use of herbs and spices are prime factors in the Quality of food. That being said, you can't turn a crappy steak into a good one; or for you vegetarians *glare*, chickpeas into quinoa. I.E. investing in your food is directly investing in yourself, so eat well folks.

The next big realization came to me on my now annual midnight Christmas Eve stroll through Sundance. After a heated discussion about the nature of reality, and the difference between reality and nature with my parents, some thoughts have bubbled to the surface. For me, nature is just there and does it's thing, and reality is my interpretation of it. Therefore, my reality is subjective and understanding of nature, but not necessarily nature itself. Hmm...interesting.

I have also considered on many occasions what is it all about, and I guess here is my some what inelegant explanation. I think that ultimately what everyone wants is to be happy in their reality. By that I mean, you want to enjoy what is going on around you, not necessarily all the time, but I'd say for most of it. Thus my little "ephiphany" is that you must be happy with yourself before you can become happy with reality/life. So that introspection and solving your problems, instead of letting them fester is the key to having a good life.

New Year's Eve: Amsterdam Rhino "Movin N Up" 70's Party. Be there or be square, tickets $30 on www.clubzone.com

Sitting in the parking lot of Wendy's, eating a Spicy Chicken sandwich (yeah, a cheat meal) at 10pm on a Saturday night has made me feel pathetic. Almost as bad as going back home to read about strength training periodization techniques. This was all after an hour long nap.

So I went to Blockbuster, because I should at least watch a movie on a Saturday night. It took me half an hour to find The Constant Gardener.

Somehow I managed not to buy a pack of smokes on the way home, I have no idea how.

I am becoming truly impressed by my father's knowledge of wine. He made tapas tonight, which is basically an olive puree with herbs and spices. Served on a piece of cheese with the right glass of wine, it was a wonderful taste experience. The combination brought out a flavour of walnuts, wow.

I caught a lot of shit for going out all classy like on Friday. Sometimes a guy just needs to wear a tie and look good.

Christmas card idea: "I'm right, you're wrong, Merry Christmas", too much?

I really need to get out of Calgary. Having no one to balance me with more liberal ideas, my brash conservativism is going unchecked and it's an easy spiral to fall into. I'm shocked at my own feelings towards many subjects, and I feel distant from everything.

I saw a lady tonight pulled over getting a ticket and she looked my mom. I felt really bad, because I knew it just ruined her night for nothing important at all. What the fuck does it matter if you are going 10km/hr over the limit? Why the hell can I get fined 50 bucks for spitting or 250 for urinating in public? And yet I see fights every night at the bars and on the streets, I get harassed by homeless people everywhere I go, I see crack and meth addicts acting sketchy everywhere, and cops fucking harass my friend Mike for joking around and throwing a pizza crust after the bar. What the hell is going on in this city? Why doesn't anyone solve the problem instead of just milking the system?

Me and Brendan figured out how heat works today, why it's related to pressure and what is involved in the energy transfer. Sounds silly, but it helps me understand the world better. When you feel heat from a fire, that is really just CO2 particles with a lot of energy hitting your hand or passing the energy to other particles to bounce and hit your hand harder.

I can't stand people who say they listen to music and just talk right over it all the time. If you actually listen to a song I play in the car with me, and we both shut up, I have more respect for you than if you nattered on with a meaningless conversation. I hate meaningless conversation.

allright, enough on the hate front for right now. I'll bottle up the rest. Hope all is well with everyone.

hmmm...what to think? what to say? uncertainty fills my little soul.

I'm sick of Christmas already. Fuck it, the only effect it has on me is making every store more busy. Why should we feel a "good will toward man" once a year? It's like the deathbed repetence of sins.

I think I'm done with Bamboo. That is all.

Math and dancing, about all I'm known for right now.

Have you ever had a single lyric or word in a song that evokes enough emotion to visibly change your demeanor or make you cry? I got a couple, and I definately don't listen to those songs around other people.

I saw a 13 year old girl drunk and puking on the train last night. It made me sad.

I've been pushing a Henry Rollin article on everyone, but here's a snippet of my favourite part:
"Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was racing through my body. Everything in me wanted her. So much so that sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn't see her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads"

Intense quality, that is what I'm looking for with everything.

Reading about sentient computers boggles my mind. I think the idea of a piece of software re-writing it's own code really blows my mind. Imagine being able to physically change your perspective and consciouness by objective means.

I'm such a wuss, I don't know how to take action. But I do know how to think!

I'm off to watch 60 Minutes, they're doing a piece on MMA. Hopefully it'll be balanced and fair.

The idea. A distinctly human attribute is our ability of creation, to have an idea. In every discipline and every person, the idea is common. There are 3 parts to idea creation, all of which are important to a successful acceptance of said idea.

Think. Think. Think. One must explore what is meant by the idea in one's own head. This is first and foremost. For the same reason that handwriting is important, this process is imperative. Before anything becomes concrete, an idea must be fully fleshed out before anything else. Why is handwriting so important? Because you have to think before you write anything, there is no room for literary diaherra.

Conceptualize. What can also be interpreted as a "rough draft," a better generalization is that of conceptualization. One must form an abstract idea into a concrete concept, by stating restrictions, boundaries, and the like. Be able to rationalize and simplify, toil and struggle, to make understood. You do not build a house without blueprints, nor do you write a book without an outline. Framework provides foundation.

Polish, perfect, attack. An idea is nothing in isolation, and a conceptualized idea is only slightly more. What is needed is presentation, aesthetics, beauty. Humans pay attention to what is attractive, and therefore an idea must attract. Solidarity is beautiful, by that I mean resistance to counter claims. Strength does not make an idea unattractive.

Each of these steps can be judged in terms of Quality. And this Quality is what seperates a good idea from bad, in that if Quality is underutilized during a step, then it directly affects the end result. Good intentions do not a good concept make.

Yeah, this is just rambling.